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ILYANEP

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A Modern-Day Philosophe
Articles Posted: 17  Links Seeded: 25
Member Since: 4/2006  Last Seen: 3/11/2010

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The Real Way To Defeat Terrorism

Fri Aug 4, 2006 11:18 PM EDT
politics, terrorism, satire, hugs, politicans, not-sex-panda
By Ilyanep
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We can all see that the Western World's strategy against terrorism isn't working. Terrorists still recruit members, and keep on bombing innocent civilians. Conflicts still break out in the Middle East, and we are aware of numerous terrorists within the United States.

Well, when we have a failing strategy, it means we need to change it, right? We are in a world of instant gratification, of course. And if something doesn't work right away, it'll never work.

So, my solution to our terrorism problem is a hug. Think about it! If you hug your local terrorist, they'll suddenly turn pink and fly away to happyland. I'm sure of it! And if you hug your local politician, they'll stop being so venomous and start working together.

In fact, the terrorism will stop right away. They seem utterly convinced that Israel and the United States want to take them over and destroy them. Hugging them will show that we understand their problems and want to help them. I mean, if it works with your local 5th grader bully, why won't it work with a terrorist?

So here's a list of people to hug:

  • The leaders of Iran, North Korea, Pakistan, HAMAS, Hezbollah, and Al Queda
  • President George Bush; I mean he has the mind of a five year old, right? All five year olds need a hug
  • Prime Minister Tony Blair
  • Hillary Clinton; she's acting like she needs a hug. Won't be me though.
  • Jack Murtha
  • Perhaps others

This has been a random satire article by me

  • Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.

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  • Public Discussion (20)
voodooDeleted
The OttO Show

All I can say is that after looking at that creepy picture, give me the terrorists! ;o)

  • 5 votes
Reply#2 - Sat Aug 5, 2006 1:11 PM EDT
MartinEZ

What if you go to hug one, and he has TNT around his waist. I don't want a hug from him. But Ill kiss him with a .50cal.

  • 4 votes
Reply#3 - Sat Aug 5, 2006 3:35 PM EDT
vas

I think there is more metaphorical truth to your article than many readers are likely to concede. Only, I don't think a "hug" will do much for those leaders you list. Rather, it would do wonders for many of the regular people in the world being manipulated into a frenzy by the powerful who are driven mainly by their self-seving agendas.

  • 3 votes
Reply#4 - Sat Aug 5, 2006 7:05 PM EDT
Ilyanep

Maybe, maybe not. But I don't know if just turning the other cheek to people with TNT strapped around their waists and powerhungry dictators is necessarily the right thing to do.

  • 3 votes
#4.1 - Sat Aug 5, 2006 8:36 PM EDT
vas

Ahhhh... my point would be that if you have people with TNT strapped around their waists, the "hug" came a bit too late. Way, way, way too late. And by hug, I don't mean some empty gesture, but a significant change of behavior reflecting genuine care. Think about it: if we don't give a @!$%# about them, why would we expect them to give a @!$%# about us?

BTW, if those in the picture came at me with a hug, I'd strap some TNT around my waist. :)

  • 2 votes
#4.2 - Sun Aug 6, 2006 1:32 PM EDT
Ilyanep

As with any satire, there maybe a kernel of truth to extract.

I think that the terrorists are terrorists because of their lifelong education to hate Israel, the US, and the west. And the only way to stop them is to destroy the current ones and stop the education of the new ones.

But we can't do that without getting through this wall that their leaders have put up. And we can't do that with only diplomacy.

Blow down the wall, then give out hugs.

  • 1 vote
#4.3 - Sun Aug 6, 2006 1:56 PM EDT
vas

That's not going to work unless we also blow down the legitimate reasons for the societies from which most of the terrorists emerge to hate or distrust us. Not unless we kill all of those people too. You focus on the terrorist, completely ignoring the larger context that bred them. We share some, though not all, responsibility for that context.

As too leaders, what makes you think ours are that much better? Sure, Dick Cheney will compare favorably with Saddam Hussein, but in my opinion that is circumstantial. I think if Cheney were an Iraqi, he would have rose to political power as a Saddam loyalist, and would have ranked high on the US's deck of 52 most wanted Iraqi leaders.

I think that the terrorists are terrorists because of their lifelong education to hate.... And the only way to stop them is to destroy the current ones and stop the education of the new ones.

The same can be said of racists. Shall we destroy all of them too?

The best way to deal with a psychopathic serial killer is probably termination, plain and simple. But a serial killer is an isolated anomaly. If we captured those involved in the 9/11 plot and executed them, that would have worked too. Nobody would have complained. The world, including Muslims, were generally accepting of America's attempt to root out the terrorists and terrorist harborers in Afghanistan. But the Iraq War and the bombing of Lebanon just add fuel to the anti-American and anti-Israeli anger that drives terrorist recruitment. Those Iraqis whose morals would never condone anti-American terrorism are forced to view American actions as anti-Iraqi terrorism.

History will show, I believe, that the US strategy for dealing with terrorism will have bred more terrorists then it destroyed.

We really should clean up your own house first. That would be the best hug we could ever give the world. As it is, right now, we're more interested in hugging ourselves.

  • 2 votes
#4.4 - Mon Aug 7, 2006 5:47 PM EDT
Ilyanep

The same can be said of racists.

Do racists suicide bomb who they hate? Because then I'm all for the death sentence on them.

termination

Just a fancy way of saying kill and/or destroy.

  • 1 vote
#4.5 - Mon Aug 7, 2006 6:10 PM EDT
vas

You didn't say that it is ok to kill terrorists because they kill, you said it was "the only way to stop them". I was refuting that argument. Regardless, racism in America is more damaging to America than terrorism. Why shouldn't we approach anti-rascism with the zeal with which we currently approach anti-terrorism?

Not sure what your second statement is about. If you're implying that I'm afraid to say "kill", you're wrong. I get the sense that this dialogue is devolving.

  • 1 vote
#4.6 - Mon Aug 7, 2006 6:51 PM EDT
Ilyanep

I'm saying that we're essentially agreeing.

You said to 'terminate' the terrorists, and I said to kill them.

And you're right; when they have TNT around their waist -- it's too late for the metaphorical hug. It's kind of like layers of skin -- the epidermis is already dead.

So I think the best way to approach this is to scrape off all the dead skin and then initiate hugging procedure. If you see what I mean through all of these metaphors.

  • 1 vote
#4.7 - Mon Aug 7, 2006 7:03 PM EDT
Reply
Slartibartfast

Well, it was an interesting point. I can just imagine . . .

But I just want to give you a hug! Come here -

***gets shot by emergency firing squad***

  • 3 votes
Reply#5 - Sat Aug 5, 2006 10:41 PM EDT
Marilyn L

Good for you for thinking this up. Hugs can do wonders for people. Maybe not a good idea to hug a suicide bomber, but a great satire!

  • 3 votes
Reply#6 - Sun Aug 6, 2006 8:12 AM EDT
Ilyanep

Thanks for the compliment.

Basically, my point was that something that works for most people doesn't necessarily work for fanatics.

  • 1 vote
#6.1 - Sun Aug 6, 2006 12:01 PM EDT
Reply
oldfogey

There was a time when I thought a few bad apples were spoiling the barrel. At some levels of government that may be true. BUT. I have come to realize that all those who reach the national level are rotten. I don't think any politician in Congress or above is motivated by what they can do for their country. By the time they reach that level the have had to sell their souls to the establishment. Do you realize new congressmen are sent to an orientation and told how they should act in office? (Actually this is true at all levels and for government employees as well.)

  • 3 votes
Reply#7 - Sun Aug 6, 2006 8:57 AM EDT
Slartibartfast

Do you realize new congressmen are sent to an orientation and told how they should act in office?

That would be like if new painters were sent to an orientation and told how they should paint. Of course, in either case, the really good ones are the ones that break away from the established order to make something new.

  • 2 votes
Reply#8 - Sun Aug 6, 2006 9:38 AM EDT
oldfogey

That is just my point. I don't think the really good ones even exist by the time the election is over. If one or two good ones do squeak through they are chastised and harrassed by the remainder until their time in congress is nullified. Check it out. US representatives my have a few exception but I don't think there is one among the senators. (small letters intended) Joe Lieberman has doubled over backwards to not offend the Republicans, McCain has done the same from his side. Show me one Senator who tries to do what is good for America. If we can name one, then we should thoroughly investigate him or her and see if we are correct. That is what Newsvining should be about, among other things.

  • 1 vote
#8.1 - Sun Aug 6, 2006 12:00 PM EDT
Slartibartfast

The reason there aren't any good politicians is that the people smart enough to do the job are smart enough to choose some other field. I cringe just thinking about how much I would hate being a politician.

  • 1 vote
#8.2 - Tue Aug 8, 2006 9:58 AM EDT
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